day 67

1.84 milesfunny, peculiar and fascinating - how that, if every day, I give it all I have, the next day, I'm capable of just a little more.

I love the fact that I'm amazed at myself, proud of what I'm doing and letting myself feel good.

3 Wishes: the title of an essay that I'm working on. I'd like to think that it will blow your mind, but I know better, it may make YOU feel something good though.

Peace be with you all.

day 66

not only do I feel like utter SHIT today (thank you mother nature for giving me a uterus) I managed to get my highest distance yet on El Diablo Machine.

1.78 miles. 2 miles, so close that if it sneezed, I would feel the spray. and I would say: "nasty ass, cover your mouth and bless you."

day 65

1.57 miles
you've got to keep breathing

just breathe

that's something I've had to REALLY focus on during cardio.. it's not traditionally been a thing with me, cardio.. duh, like ya'll can't tell.. bitches don't get this fat, if they dig the cardio. with me, I've got to focus on something, other than the creaking in my joints.. normally, it's been the music, lately, it's been just breathing. deep and steady. which is a lot more difficult than I thought it should be. resisting the urge to pant like a dog (because it's exhausting to pant) in.......out......in......out, slow, lung fulls.

the biggest reason I have "breathe" tattooed on my arm, I forget to and I forget how. (not on a primal level) however, I do find myself holding my breath at times.

a huge doucher, who, I'm learning through catching up (mentally and emotionally) with, isn't really a doucher at all.. used to tell me (all the damn time) just breathe Sarah. my comeback was usually, "I am, fuck you" he's now a person I wish I wouldn't have cut out of my life. he would have been a great asset as a friend.. he knew that too. chalk it up to psycho human stuff, I.just.couldn't. he'll just be someone I think about sometimes and continue to learn from. (doucher)

day 64

.44 of a mile when I got home and 1.45 miles, when I got up.

I can't even do 2 miles in 2 chunks!! Bah!! Whatever.

I'm edging closer to 100.. I do believe I will get to 2 miles before then.

day 63

1.43 miles today.
It was all I had, sometimes that's how it goes. Icy Hot will be applied to my left ankle before I leave for work. Damn thing has hurt the last 2 days. It needs to get the hell over itself.

Sorry, I'm at a stage where if I "rest" or "take it easy" anymore, I'm going to go bat shit crazy, I'm doing this for sanity's sake.

day 62

1.46 miles today
I had to dig deep for that one. The mind won out today, my body didn't want to.

Closer to that goal of 2 miles.
Doing - feels good. Accomplishing - feels even better.

day 61

1.37 miles on el diablo machine

I am beginning to really enjoy the sweat when it drips down my face and neck. It feels cleansing, I'm sweating out my self-imposed inadequacies. I'm succeeding, just by having it flow down my face like tears. I feel euphoric.. I felt this when I walked, it's good to have that back.

I'm getting closer to my 2 mile goal. =)