day 73

2.82 miles in 24 minutes

I pushed for that one (ugh)

I'm just so happy that I've gone over my goal for the last 3 days. (this is day 4!! of over 2 miles) Anything over 2 miles would be awesome, I'm closer to hitting my next goal, which is 3 miles a day. Perhaps my mind is just eager for my body to attain comfort. Ultimately, that's what this is about, looking better is a side effect, my true goal is to feel better.

I feel better already, I'm lighter now than I was when I went through pre-surgery weight loss for the bariatric program.

I guess I wasn't ready then. I'm never going to be ready to have part of my stomach removed. That won't heal me, that won't make me better. My mental and emotional health has never been better than it is right now. I'm learning new things about myself every day. I'm learning what my mind is capable of.

I'm forgiving myself and not just coping with what was done to me as a small child, I'm accepting that it happened and allowing myself the grace that it takes to heal from such an ordeal.

I'm starting to be OK with me. It's a great feeling.