day 8

2 days away from double digits. YES!

1/4 mile done

i found myself thinking about my walk, on and off all day today. i went to see my mom on dinner break and i kind of wanted to ask her to walk around the park with me, but i didn't. i think her knee was bothering her anyway. my legs hurt, from the hips down. i do a lot of sitting at work. i look forward to the walk, because it gets the circulation going in my legs and they feel better. even if the grinding that my joints take doesn't feel exceptionally good, i know that will improve as weight goes away. where does it go anyway? does it evaporate? do you pee it out? what's up with that? i never have understood the concept of where it goes exactly, it's got to GO somewhere, doesn't it? it's not like e-mail, it doesn't just vanish when you delete it.

tonight a co-worker of mine (that wasn't aware of what i'm up to at night) asked me what i had planned, since i was in kind of a rush to get out. i told him that i'm walking at night. his first words "at night?! i hope you're walking with a dog or carrying pepper spray!!"

let me address this issue.. i'm weird this way, but i honestly believe our way of thinking brings stuff about. i know that you cannot control the actions of others, but i think if you're sending out that vibe, that you expect bad shit to happen.. well, it's going to find you. THAT said.. statistically, you are more likely to get attacked by someone you KNOW than a complete stranger. i don't know a lot of shady mother fuckers. actually.. i don't think i know any. a few creeps, maybe.. but people that are all bad ass violent? eh.. i did at one point, i've disassociated myself from him (years ago) and he doesn't know where i am.

if i truly felt in fear for my well-being. i wouldn't be doing this. OR i'd be packing heat. (not just a knife and a big flashlight)

the short of it. everyone that knows me and of this project, knows where i live. everyone that knows me through facebook and this project, doesn't know where i live (other than Eugene and in the burbs) that could be a lot of places in Eugene.. good luck.

i think that staying inactive and fat is more of a danger to my health than walking after midnight.