day 44

1 mile

some days i have to force myself to do what i need to do to make myself feel "good"

i'm wondering when this will become second nature. (i'm not even talking about the walking, really) i'm talking about the other stuff, that i do every day (or nearly) to make myself feel good. like putting on makeup.. giving a shit what i look like. you know, this kinda stuff.. i have to hold yourself to a standard, i do, i have to hold myself accountable for how i look, feel.. blah blah blah and it's kind of exhausting. i've slept a lot. over the weekend.. i woke up at 3pm on Saturday and then at 4pm on Sunday.. you may think that i had trouble falling alseep again, nope.. zonk.

i haven't walked as much as i had been walking. i've also only managed once a day. i have no idea where that motivation went (that seemed to exist just a week ago) i felt like i was kicking ass, now, not so much.