day 13

1/4 mile done. 

i didn't even go in the house first. i just parked the car and walked. other than the nagging hip pain, it was good. one of these days, this pain is going to lighten up.

again with the makeup thing.. yeah, i'm not done beating this dead horse..
i have a theory

after making a comment that compliments from specific people gave me the willies. a friend of mine tried to justify said creep's compliment by saying something like this: "well, you don't usually wear makeup.. and it does look good on you." i was a complete ass. i said "yeah, i get that... blah blah" instead of saying thanks for the compliment. because i'm not quite sure if it's a compliment or not. i ended up sounding like a bit of an asshole "you're attractive" - "yeah, i know" type of thing. ICK.

what i meant by it, even though i failed miserably.. was this.

yeah, i get that people think i'm more attractive WITH the makeup. what i don't get is the WHY. why is this a standard for beauty? why is goop around my eyeballs attractive? (i understand that it isn't attractive to everyone, but we'll go with a lot (if not majority) for numbers.)

i've come up with a couple of theories on why this is.. now that i have you here.. reading this. i'll give em to you.

1st theory. and not my favorite. the lie that it represents. this is how good i could look. if my skin weren't blotchy and my eyelashes were actually black. if my lips were permanently tinged darker pink..

2nd theory. i like this one, because i like thinking about sex.
the made-up female face represents the female body.
the eyes pop.. stand out.. get your attention.. like tits.
the cheeks.. round.. rosy.. so pretty to look at.. like a bottom.
the lips. moist and pink. do i really need to say it?

what do you think? yes, i'd like your opinion. you can tell me i'm full of shite. preoccupied with sex (you'd be right) or.. whatever. it's a topic that i find fascinating.