it feels like spring, even with the snow on the ground.
here i am 30 days in. part of me cannot believe that i've kept it up this long and part of me feels like i'm not doing enough. i get stressed at the idea of missing one of my walks. with every step that i take, i am closer, to something.
i realized. i am doing this, so that someone will like me. this someone is important to me. they haven't been in the past. in the past i've treated this person like garbage. i've abused this person. i've punished them. i've hated them. emotionally, physically, mentally... i've done everything i can, to tear them down and now, it's time to rebuild my relationship. with myself. i love you Sarah. if i met you on the street and had tea with you, i'd listen intently, because you have deep, profound, intelligent things to say. you're genuine. you're thoughtful. you love deeply and intensely. you are so worth this effort i am putting forth to save you.
and it's about time.
I totally know how you feel about feeling stressed if you think you might miss a walk. That means it's become a habit, an addiction in the making. And that's awesome! What a great thing.
ReplyDeleteOh, and regarding the rest of what you wrote...even though we just re-connected, I have to say that from where I sit: you are. And it is. :-)
thanks Velvet =)
ReplyDeleteIt's great when you get addicted to exercise. What an easy habit to keep it is, too! It's free and it makes you feel better about yourself, it makes you feel happier.
ReplyDeleteI only exercise at work, it's my habit there to go to the gym after work and I hate to miss it. I've just hurt my knee, did nothing, and it's killing me to think I might not be able to go to the gym on Monday.
Funny how at home I'm happy not to do any exercise. But I don't sit at a desk for 12 hours a day when I'm on break.